Like Love But Not ch51

Summary: It’s all right even if he can never get the real answer.

Content warning (minor-ish):

Some suicidal ideation.

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Book-Exclusive Extra: FALLEN 7

“Wait a second!”

On the sea breeze road, a youth on a bicycle skidded to a stop. “Hey! I’m talking to you! Please wait a second.”

Duan Yi stopped walking. Even if the other party wasn’t his owner, robots must still maintain the same level of courtesy to all humans.

“You’re a robot, right?” That youth looked him up and down. “Your condition looks a bit off.”

Duan Yi’s body didn’t have any clear indicators that he was a robot, and other than looking a little too outstanding, it was fairly difficult for the average person to see that he wasn’t human.

“Hmph, as long as it’s a machine, it can’t escape my eyes no matter how well it tries to hide! After all, how could I have graduated from the Robotics Division of the Science and Engineering Institute without at least some skill?! You don’t mind if I investigate a bit, right?”

“For maintenance, you need to get permission from my master…”

“Where’s your master? I’ll give him a call.”

“On a plane…”

“Then there’s no helping it. I’ll just examine you first. How long has it been since your last maintenance? You actually seem to have some pretty serious problems everywhere.”

“But—-”

The youth pressed on the back of Duan Yi’s neck, said a simple command, and suddenly Duan Yi was no longer able to move.

“Ah, you actually aren’t password protected! When you get back, you need to tell your master how unsafe this is! Good thing I was the one you met. If it had been anyone else, they might’ve overwritten your instructions and just stolen you away.”

While speaking, that youth had already begun his examination.

“Hey, why are your wires such a complete mess? The person who fixed you doesn’t know anything about robotics! This is upside down! And this circuit here should be connected here instead — right! Wait a sec.”

But his ‘second’ turned out to be an entire morning.

“It’s done!”

Duan Yi felt a small jolt of electricity run through his entire body, and he raised his hand in near disbelief — after such a long time, he was finally able to control his own body just like before.

After being shackled for over twenty years, he had finally been freed. However, that feeling of joy lasted for only a brief moment before divesting itself, turning into an overwhelmingly ridiculous joke.

He was finally free. But what meaning is there in freedom like this?

That person had long already turned cold, lying deep, deep underneath the earth.

It was all already too late.

It was very cold that day. Meticulously engraved upon the plain, white gravestone was that name.

That name which, for so many years, hadn’t been spoken by anyone.

……

After placing the white roses, the slender fingers slowly and gently stroked the characters engraved on the gravestone.

This was just like how, during the last time they met, that person had skimmed his fingers softly across Duan Yi’s cheeks.

At that time, he had been so skinny that Duan Yi longed to hug him but was unable to. And now that Duan Yi was able to provide gentle comfort, the only thing left was this cold gravestone.

“Xiao Heng, do you know how much I miss you?”

The cold, late autumn air didn’t take the least bit of pity on him. It flicked away a sky full of dead leaves, the piercing sound of the wind whistling past Duan Yi’s ears, while also whipping his black hair against his cheeks.

Duan Yi closed his eyes. He felt as if his own soul had been ground into fine powder, scattering into the air along with the wind.

***

To say that Song Qing wasn’t surprised would be a lie.

It wasn’t that she had never thought that a day would come when Duan Yi would regain control of his own body; it was just that, as time passed, that kind of worry had slowly been relegated to the back of her mind. Based on what she knew about Duan Yi, even after all this time, he would definitely not forgive her.

She would’ve never thought that Duan Yi would actually appear extremely calm.

He didn’t become agitated, he didn’t ask questions, he didn’t seek revenge; he didn’t do anything.

He simply made a request of Song Qing. He wanted Xiao Heng’s so-called “microchip”.

In this era, every person’s entire life and memories are inputted into a “microchip” after death and turned into a part of history, archived in the Global Historical Data Repository. People thought that this way of recording history was far more true-to-life than any other era’s textbooks or autobiographies, and it was far easier to consult previous generations.

In recent years, technology has advanced to the point that the “microchip” could be used to recreate the deceased.

Although the machine created with these memories and feelings through this method had always been controversial in society, it was already the only thing that Duan Yi could think of to see that person one last time.

He told himself again and again that the Xiao Heng “revived” through this method would definitely still be that same Xiao Heng as before.

“But, that kind of thing… is impossible. Although the government encouraged everyone to submit a microchip to the data repository, they still relied on consent from the person in question. Brother Heng’s information was… never preserved.”

“Why wasn’t it?!” Duan Yi’s first reaction was that Song Qing wasn’t willing to give it to him.

“That was Brother Heng’s final wish… Maybe, he didn’t want a day like this to come, where his memories and feelings… would be forced to continue on in this way.”

What… what is this?! Duan Yi didn’t understand. He didn’t want to continue on? Why didn’t he want to continue living on?! Then that year, why did you do that to me—-

“What is this… What does he mean by this?! He’s too selfish. I have to continue living, but he can’t be disturbed by anyone? Why did he decide something like this, why did he treat me like this—-!”

Song Qing’s eyes filled with long-forgotten tears as she watched Duan Yi on the verge of collapse. It felt like they had suddenly returned to that time long ago, as if nothing had changed from before and they were still distraught over that same person.

“Maybe it was that Brother Heng had always been watching you, Brother Duan Yi, that… he made this kind of decision. Because you always looked so resentful, so in pain.”

“You—-”

Duan Yi wanted to say, wasn’t it all your fault?! When did I ever hate him? It was the two of you who clearly knew that that already wasn’t me but refused to tell him the truth!

But at this moment, he suddenly remembered those words he had said so carelessly, “It’s not like there’s any meaning to living anyway,” and the miserably guilty expression on Xiao Heng’s face at that time..

It felt like a knife stabbing into his heart.

……

Duan Yi wasn’t willing to believe Song Qing’s words.

He searched various data repositories and every kind of historical archive, carrying with him a small, vague hope — a hope that a piece of Xiao Heng’s existence had been left behind in this world, someplace, somewhere.

But these final, distant hopes ultimately turned out to be futile.

You’re… truly merciless. Xiao Heng, you’re really, truly merciless.

He sneered at his own wishful thinking. More than ever before, he felt like he couldn’t accept this.

What exactly… did you think of me?

Did you hate me that much? Hate my stubbornness and clinginess? So you didn’t leave me any leeway, not even a sliver of hope?

Then why… why was I the last person you came to see, and not that little girl you loved and doted on?

Why, Xiao Heng? Can’t you tell me why?

……

“Young Master Duan Yi, this is… something that Young Master Xiao Heng entrusted to me for you.”

The forty-year-old Ye Wenyu had a steady middle-aged appearance; there remained not a trace of that delicate, androgynous appearance from years past.

“My sincerest apologies that it took this long to hand it over.”

It was a seal[1]. Duan Yi held it in the palm of his hand, confused. He vaguely remembered his parents mentioning this before, that the Duan family’s roots were deep, and when family members came of age, every one of them would be given their own personal seal.

Unfortunately, he had lost his parents at fourteen, and later, after undergoing the “reverse transplant”, he received a robot body, so naturally didn’t go through any coming-of-age ceremonies. As such, he had never received such a thing.

“This is Young Master Xiao Heng’s own seal. He wanted me to give it to you, to serve as a memento.”

This small object felt burning hot clenched within Duan Yi’s fist.

This was the only thing he had left of that person now.

Duan Yi felt a bit comforted. Regardless of what happened, Xiao Heng still personally left him something. However, even though he was clearly happy, the urge to cry overflowed from his heart, overwhelming his senses.

Robots were such pitiful existences. In the mirror, his face remained wooden, without the slightest hint of sorrow.

How unbearable. Duan Yi absolutely loathed this inexhaustibly blank face of his.

In these years, as he lived like a dead man walking, appearing as if nothing could touch him, the pain and suffering he suppressed in his heart grew by degrees, day-by-day. When would these kinds of days be over?

Duan Yi sincerely wanted, even earnestly wished for and incomparable desired, the day when these days of suffering would be over.

***

Technology continued to advance rapidly. After another ten years, the development of outer space colonies had already become a reality.

In contrast, on the actual earth itself, within this city and country which were already considered old and traditional, among the people remaining who refused to leave their homeland to explore the outer reaches of the universe, the wealth disparity between the rich and the poor grew worse and worse. Civil unrest and disorder became commonplace, the conflicts growing increasingly intense, and even in this city, issues arose daily.

“Why do I feel like… if it continues like this, then war really will break out.”

The already grown-up Ye Miao was chewing on a pancake as she read the news from her computer with a grave face.

“No matter if it’s humanity’s conflict with humanity, or humanity’s conflict with robots, it’s already almost too late for reconciliation. If war starts and it becomes like what happened three years ago and the government once again issues restrictive measures on robots, or even an order to destroy them, what should we do?

“Hey, Duan Yi, aren’t you worried?” She anxiously looked at the unconcerned Duan Yi.

Very quickly, Ye Miao’s fears became a reality.

A heavy duty missile exploded in the suburbs, and the scarlet-red of the evening sunset glinted off that enormous crater. In an instant, the bustling streets had turned into ruins. Half of the city along with most of the suburban outskirts had turned into a wasteland.

These new missiles were loaded with radiation, and it directly turned that district into a polluted radioactive zone. Even though Duan Yi was a machine, a part of his brain was still made up of human cells, and he also wasn’t able to approach that area.

The only thing he could do was watch as that person’s gravestone became buried under all that smoke and ash.

In the past, massive transformations of the earth and the sea, with changes in the path of the stars, the formation of new mountains and rivers, were all accomplished over millions of years. But this era’s advancements in technology was truly too rapid, and the length of time needed already wasn’t like before. All things changed in a flash, even the transforming of earth and sea happened in a mere blink of an eye.

Although Duan Yi still maintained that handsome youthful appearance, he was actually already over fifty-years-old on the inside and unable to take these sudden unforgiving events.

As the war escalated, the parents Ye Wenyu and Song Qing took their young son and daughter out of the country, to take shelter from the war in a neutral territory. However, Duan Yi’s master Ye Miao stubbornly chose to remain to act as a wartime journalist.

Not long later, fearing that the enemy camp would use a computer virus to turn their the household robots against them, the combat zone’s military decided to set off an EMP that would be harmless to humans but would destroy all the robots in the district in one fell swoop, in order to prevent future disaster.

As a reporter, Ye Miao was one of the first to learn this news.

“Duan Yi, I can’t protect you under these circumstances. Hurry and escape! Escape from this district, escape as far as you can!

“Right now, with the new power source you’re using, you can use it for at least ten years without needing to charge. This war couldn’t possibly last for ten years, right? Go hide in a safe place. When the war is over, I’ll definitely go and find you!”

As she spoke, she hugged him, burrowing into his embrace just like she did when she was little.

“Dad, Mom, little bro, little sis, and you… Our entire family will definitely be reunited someday.”

Duan Yi gently stroked her dark-brown hair. This little girl whom he had raised had already grown this big.

“Then, Young Miss, please also take care of yourself.”

He rushed along the escape route that the young girl had given him. At dusk, Duan Yi reached the faraway borders of the district. He simply had to climb over this barbed-wire fence, and he’d reach the area on the other side, safe from the effects of the EMP.

Underneath the light of the setting sun, however, Duan Yi found his steps stopping right in front of that fence.

Why… do I want to escape?

He suddenly couldn’t understand, and it was like he had come to a realization.

Is it for… the sake of complying with Young Miss Xiao-Miao’s plans, to reunite with her family after ten years?

To return again to Ye Wenyu and Song Qing… to that seemingly warm and peaceful and envious “home”?

In all honesty, it wasn’t as if that home was completely meaningless to him. At the very least, he truly was fond of Young Miss Xiao-Miao.

But that place would also never be his home.

From beginning to end, he only ever had one home. In that same white house with that garden, and with those people who were already no longer here.

Dad, Mom, Xiao Heng.

And from the time Xiao Heng left, he had already completely lost his home.

So… why am I running? Duan Yi silently backed up two steps.

Hasn’t what I’ve always wanted been for everything to be over?

I don’t want to run. All these long years, all this unending pain. Xiao Heng, I already… can’t bear it anymore.

He turned around and retraced his steps. The whole city was rubble and ruin, and bombs and alarms shrieked deafeningly through the air. He walked past both refugee and military transports. Someone grabbed his arm to warn him that the direction he was going towards was extremely dangerous, but he didn’t care.

He wanted to go back, to go back to that white house that had already become bereft of people.

He wanted to go back to that beautifully warm home in his memories.

The house stood surrounded by ruins. The garden was a complete mess, and the white roses had already long been scorched to nothing. The inside had also already long been picked clean by both soldiers and refugees and was a scene of devastation.

Within this house, there was actually a secret underground storeroom. Only the very first owner knew of it.

Upon opening up that storeroom which had been lying covered in dust for over ten years, he found so many memories piled neatly within — the stuffed cloth dog from his childhood, the books about building blocks he had as a kid, everything had already become old and worn-out, covered in cobwebs, having not been disturbed by anyone for so many years.

Duan Yi gently held that cloth dog and thought back to a long, long time ago, to the look on Xiao Heng’s face when the other had gifted it to him.

If I could turn back time… I would be willing to be your family for a lifetime. I won’t say or demand anything. I only want to remain by your side.

Xiao Heng, I really miss you. I really, truly miss you.

Just like that, Duan Yi sat down on the ice-cold floor. He held that seal which, over all these years, had always hung around his neck, and brought it up to his lips in an incomparably tender kiss.

Xiao Heng, I’ll stay here.

This is my home, and I’ll always belong to it. My most beloved family, my most precious person, I will always belong to all of you.

As the emergency warning system rang out, echoing through the air, Duan Yi slowly closed his eyes.

The electrical interference caused by the EMP simply felt like a slight numbing sensation. It didn’t hurt; it simply, within a matter of minutes, turned his entire body as heavy as lead.

In a daze, he seemed to hear the old joyous laughter that used to permeate this house. The light from the courtyard, the white of the tablecloth, his beautiful mother and steadfast father, a lively discussion, and the him who wasn’t yet able to reach the dining table, along with his older brother.

I’ll stay here with all of you. I’ll forever stay with you, and we’ll live happily together, never ever parting.

……

***

“Wow! I’ve lived in this house for so many years, yet if I hadn’t decided to take down this painting today, I’d never have discovered that there’s actually a hidden door in this side hallway!”

The black-haired youth wore an antiquated Tang suit[2]. He looked very pretty and delicate, and his facial features in particular seemed to have a classical charm, so the clothes suited him very well. It was unfortunate, then, that he wasn’t able to control his expressions — his mouth was opened so wide that it destroyed all vestiges of his innate cold beauty.

“There could even be some secret treasure left behind by my ancestors! This is just amazing!”

He did a little dance, further damaging his image.

“Master.” The youth was grabbed by the collar. Beside him was a tall male robot, looking as if he was an angel straight out of the Bible, with European features, golden-haired and green-eyed, as well as a threatening beauty. “You should let me go down first. There might be traps at the bottom, and you’re so weak, Master, that any small thing might end you.”

“My ancestors… couldn’t possibly be that vicious, right?!”

“Who knows. If Master’s ancestor just so happened to be as crazy about machines as Master is, then who knows what kinds of unbelievably weird things could be down there?!”

That storeroom which had been covered in a hundred years of dust was once again opened. And even the automatic lights from that year actually diligently and responsibly turned on.

“Fuck, what is that—-?”

Within an enormous pile of old and broken toys was a corpse-like object leaning against the wall. The golden-haired angel was given an enormous fright, and it was conversely his master, that black-haired youth, who remained completely calm.

He reached out a hand and grabbed a small rod before carefully moving forward. After pushing away layers and layers of cobwebs, he saw a dusty yet handsome face, looking as if deeply asleep.

“Whoa, this can’t be… how lucky! It’s an old robot!”

He pushed that worn-out robot head aside to reveal the serial number upon the neck and excitedly exclaimed, “It really is, it really is! And it’s even an antique from more than a hundred years ago!

“Little J, you don’t know, do you? This kind of thing is super rare! Because that era’s robots had been almost completely wiped out once, and so there’s very few of them remaining! Let me see… it looks like this guy was subjected to an EMP, but that kind of damage is completely reversible. Hah, what fantastic luck! I’ll just fix him up a bit and then try and see if he’ll start!”

The golden-haired angel curled his lips. “You don’t even know who used it before. Who knows how many germs it has. We need to sterilize it before trying to start it up!”

“Little J, you’re really too much. Every day, you’re always against this and against that. Are you really going to be like this even with one of your own kind?”

“One of my own kind?” The handsome, golden-haired man’s entire face was full of disdain. “I’m a legendary product made from the latest cutting-edge technology, and I was even a masterpiece created by a world-renowned designer. Compared to this one-hundred-year-old piece of junk with such an old model and ancient software, I already can’t be considered the same kind, right?”

“But you should look carefully at his design.” As the black-haired youth worked on the circuits, he also grabbed the robot’s hand and waved it at the other party. “While it’s over a hundred years old and the materials used aren’t as good as today’s, the amount of realism in it wouldn’t lose to you!

“And I’ve heard that the robots designed a hundred years ago were super obedient! Not like it is today at all. Nowadays, it’s all about ‘unique personalities’, and even when they designed someone like you with such a shitty attitude, they still dared to put you up for sale — what a scam! The designer’s head really is full of water! If I knew your personality was going to be like this from the start, I wouldn’t have bought you with the allowance that I painstakingly saved for fifteen years!”

“Hmph, I’m a legendary product! Master, you even bought me at such a low price, yet you constantly act as if you’ve been taken advantage of and wronged!” The golden-haired robot was extremely unhappy. “If Master really hates me that much, then just send me back to ‘my esteemed father’ and be done with it! There’s plenty of people who would be willing to spend tons of money to buy the great me!”

“Oh?” A sliver of danger flashed through the delicate youth’s eyes. “Little J, are you for real?”

“I really want to find a new master who isn’t stupid enough to hurt himself constantly, who has good taste, who appreciates me, who finds me the sexiest thing in the universe, and who will go to bed with me every day!”

The veins in the youth’s forehead throbbed. “All right, if you keep talking nonsense like that, then how about I immediately send you back to where you came from! On the way, I’ll even take the time to ask your brainless designer what kind of person, when designing a robot’s sexuality, would design it as ‘exclusively homosexual’ and even have the robot insist on topping while the master bottoms?!”

“Ha? Of course I’d be designed like this based on my build. One look and you can tell I’m not supposed to be on the bottom! By the way, I was designed by ‘my esteemed father’ personally in accordance to my master’s, your, measurements! Who let Master be so short and skinny, to have such long eyelashes and pale skin? In everyone else’s eyes, you’re clearly the one on the bottom, right?”

“You! You act~ual~ly~dare~to~say~I’m~short — I’m only nineteen! I’m still growing! And this summer I even grew to 172 centimeters!”

“How is finally growing to 172 at nineteen-years-old anything to boast about?! I’m 189, Master! Even until the day you die, you won’t be able to catch up to me!”

“172 is short? Just wait until I get rid of you!”

As the person and robot hopped around making a ruckus, on the ground, the black-haired youth who had been reconnected to a power supply suddenly moved slightly.

“Wow! It’s really not broken! The technology from a hundred years ago is really amazing!” In a flash, the youth dropped to his side, entire face full of excitement. “Hello, hello! Are you awake? Can you hear what I’m saying?”

Duan Yi took more than a minute before he gradually began regaining his senses. However, his entire face was full of confusion as he blankly stared at the youth in front of him, someone whom he’s never seen before.

“Who… are you? Where… am I?”

***

After being begrudgingly pulled into the bathroom to clean up by that golden-haired angel called Little J, Duan Yi put on a brand-new white T-shirt and stood barefoot in the hall, dazedly looking at the familiar yet strange space before his eyes.

Tang Qi was the name of that black-haired youth.

This place was Tang Qi’s home — this place also used to be Duan Yi’s old home.

Duan Yi could’ve never imagined that, in the mere blank of an eye, more than seventy years would have passed.

Ye Wenyu and Song Qing, they… were probably no longer in this world, right? Xiao-Miao also probably isn’t around anymore, and even if she is, she should be almost a hundred, an old woman with a face full of wrinkles.

And has the days he spent without Xiao Heng already exceeded a hundred years?

Duan Yi suddenly thought that everything seemed like a dream, a nightmare that would never end.

He originally thought that he was already dead and that everything was already over. But why did he wake up again, why did he have to once again face an even crueler reality?

From the start, Xiao Heng had already been faraway from him. And with the frightening and cruel passage of time, the distance between them continued to increase without limit.

He had already been gone for over a hundred years, ah… ah.

That old pain hadn’t waned with time. In fact, it had simply increased in intensity, tearing into his heart.

I simply… wanted to end everything with my death. I thought that everything was finally over, but then I found out that I had simply been in a deep dream. I just wanted to die, that’s it. Why is it so difficult?

……

The black-haired youth was lazily slouched in a chair with a leg on his knee, admiring the dazed and dejected profile of the Duan Yi next to him. Upon seeing the complex feelings full of fragility and poignancy in his eyes, the youth couldn’t help but sigh out a sincere phrase.

“How exquisite.”

“…”

“Let me just say that today’s designers should spend more time studying past designs! Look at this! Isn’t this face designed a hundred years ago amazing?! It’s not just extremely pleasing to the eye, it’s also singularly unique! Not at all like the fad today, where the entire street is covered with these too-perfect faces with double eyelids, looking European or mixed-race, all glamorous builds with blonde hair and green eyes!”

Little J begged to differ, “Master, is there something wrong with your eyes? This kind of outdated junk, when compared to me, is just ordinary and mediocre!”

“I admit that you’re handsome, but your model which completely adheres to the most popular style and build seen everywhere nowadays has started feeling a bit tacky recently!”

“I’m tacky?! It’s true that there are a lot of cheap counterfeits imitating my model now, but can those mass-produced pieces of junk compare to me?! I’m tacky?! If you throw that thing out on the streets, then you wouldn’t even be able to find him amidst those piles of junk! Hmph! A flat face! Skinny and frail! One look can tell that he doesn’t feel good to touch!”

Tang Qi ignored him and instead waved Duan Yi over to sit beside him.

“Can you tell me about your circumstances as well as the circumstances surrounding your previous owner?”

……

“My owner, he was called… Xiao Heng.”

He didn’t explain further. Perhaps, he simply longed to speak that person’s name.

It seemed that, by saying this name, the boundless distance between the two of them was able to narrow just the tiniest bit.

If the distance could close, even by a little bit, then he wouldn’t mind whether he was a person, a machine, or anything else for that matter.

I simply… really miss you. Just that.

Tang Qi waved his hand and a thin screen appeared in the air in front of them. Duan Yi also wasn’t clear on what exactly this thing was. It looked like a sort of screen projection, with diagrams and words flashing on it, floating in mid-air.

“Oh, this is a modern day computer. You haven’t seen it yet, right?” Tang Qi saw that his expression was strange and kindly explained, “I’m a student at the Imperial Engineering College, and our school’s public database is really extensive. As long as it existed in the past, it can nearly always be found here. But this name ‘Xiao Heng’ isn’t really that unique. Do you have a specific date of birth or a citizenship number?”

Duan Yi was very familiar with those numbers.

“Found it!” The fingers flew across the intangible screen, and upon it, a few pieces of data appeared. “It should be this person! Weird, why isn’t there even a picture?”

The empty space of his chest where there wasn’t even a heart anymore felt like it was contracting, bringing with it a sharp stabbing pain.

The only traces left of that person’s existence was just these few lines.

The gravestone was already gone, and even those who would remember him — Ye Wenyu, Song Qing, and everyone else — had also already left.

Only he was left, and he didn’t even know to whom he could say this one phrase, “Xiao Heng, I really miss you.”

“Ah… familial relationships are: a younger brother Duan Yi, a younger sister Song Qing, a brother-in-law… Ye Wenyu?”

Tang Qi furrowed his brows. “Hm, Ye Wenyu and Song Qing? Why do those sound familiar?”

“According to the records,” Little J quickly pulled up the data, “those are the names of Master’s great-great-grandfather and great-great-grandmother.”

“That’s right… It can’t be a coincidence, right?”

With a touch of the link, Song Qing’s data opened. In total, there were over a hundred pages with many pictures — from a young girl to a beautiful and elegant married woman, to an old madam of fifty to seventy years, a state that Duan Yi wasn’t able to witness for himself, and finally all the way to old age, surrounded by her various offspring.

“No mistake, this is definitely my great-great-grandmother! Look at this family picture with four generations in it! The little kids on the right are my mom and her younger brother!” The youth excitedly said, “This is my first time seeing pictures of my great-great-grandmother back when she was young. My mom and her look practically the same!”

When he finished speaking, he suddenly seemed to remember something else. “That’s right, I remember my great-grandmother once told me that, when she was young, she used to have a very handsome robot butler by her side with black hair and black eyes. Unfortunately, he was later lost during the war and couldn’t be found at all afterwards. That incident later became her lifelong regret. Could that person… have been you?”

As he spoke, his fingers once again flew across the computer. “Let me see, your serial number is… FALLEN… FALLEN-X’s government records… Weird, why isn’t there any? Logically, all factory-manufactured robots should have been issued a certificate of origin!”

……

“Did Young Miss Song Qing, Young Miss Xiao-Miao, and the others… live well afterwards?”

Upon hearing this, Tang Qi’s mouth opened wide in surprise, his gaze luminous. “Ahhh! Are you for real? So the legendary ‘that person’ really is you! Wow, when great-grandmother was looking for you afterwards, if only she knew you had always been in our house… Ah! This kind of Romeo and Juliet story, separated by unforeseeable circumstances, is really too cruel!

“Let me tell you, great-great-grandmother and great-great-grandfather had a total of four children. My great-grandmother is precisely that Young Miss Xiao-Miao you spoke of. Later, she married a member of the legislature and had three children. The oldest was my grandfather, and then my grandfather had my mom and my uncle. My uncle is super smart, and he’s now a famous university professor; my mother, however, became a full-time housewife after she got married…”

Even with this simple description, Duan Yi felt as if he was able to see  the scene right before his eyes — Song Qing and Ye Wenyu had lived a life of happiness, and even Young Miss Xiao-Miao had somewhere to return to. Their bloodline had continued to this day, and they even had a clever and outstanding descendant like Tang Qi.

“That’s really… wonderful.”

It’s wonderful that they were all able to obtain happiness.

……

“That’s right.” Tang Qi dangled something in front of Duan Yi’s eyes. “Just now when I told Little J to help you clean up, I tidied up your clothes and forgot to return this to you, so here!”

The thing dangling in his hands turned out to be a simple and unadorned seal.

“…!”

Duan Yi quickly grabbed that thing with a hand.

“Your expression just now was so scary! Don’t worry, I won’t steal it from you! Especially since I also have my own.” As Tang Qi spoke, he pulled out a similar-looking seal from his pants pocket. “Look, this is mine. Doesn’t it look a lot like yours?

“See, there’s the family’s insignia here, right? Although my surname is Tang and not Duan, I still have this family’s blood running through my veins, so when I came of age, I also got my own seal. My father told me at my coming-of-age ceremony that, in this family, we all have to take our seals to our graves, unless we meet our once-in-a-lifetime true love, and only then can we give this seal to someone else.

“That’s why I’m curious. Aren’t you a machine, so why would you have something like this? Who gave it to you? Ah! The one you have can’t be from great-grandmother, right — I remember she once told me that you were her first love.”

What…

What true love, what… what is that?

Duan Yi’s lips trembled, and the small seal in his hand suddenly felt incomparably heavy, so heavy that he could barely breathe.

A once-in-a-lifetime true love?

What did that mean? What kind of vicious joke was this? Why had he never heard about this before?

Did this family really have this kind of tradition? Really, truly? Why did Xiao Heng leave this thing to him? What exactly did this mean?!

“Hey… what’s wrong?” Tang Qi didn’t understand why Duan Yi looked like he wanted to cry. “Did I say something wrong? Hey, are you OK? Are you running low on power?”

Duan Yi didn’t hear. He wasn’t willing to listen to anything else from his surroundings. Holding that small seal within his hands, he already no longer had the strength to pay attention to anything else.

***

Duan Yi felt like this was incredibly unbelievable.

He had never thought that there’d be an opportunity to speak to anyone of all the things that had happened in the past, of the story between him and Xiao Heng that couldn’t even be considered a story.

He didn’t tell this story to the Young Miss Xiao-Miao whom he had raised himself, and he also didn’t tell this story to anyone else who showed up by his side afterwards, but in this sleepless night, in this strange yet familiar white house, he told every single part of it to Tang Qi.

Duan Yi himself didn’t know why.

Perhaps, he had simply been searching for an answer from Tang Qi, an answer without any evidence or foundation.

“I think… at that time, he probably loved you.”

And perhaps, because he was clear about what he wanted in his heart, in consideration, the person hearing this story would definitely say those words that he had most wanted to hear.

Even if it was a lie, it’s all right.

Duan Yi curled up on the corner of the couch, clutched that seal in his hands, and closed his eyes as if to deceive himself.

“Perhaps… when he finally realized his own feelings, the opportunity was already completely gone. That kind of earnest person would definitely blame himself for your misfortune, so in the end he wouldn’t have been able to tell you his honest, heartfelt thoughts.”

Duan Yi wished that the words Tang Qi said were true. He wished that he really had once been loved by that person.

Even if it was just for a minute. Even if it was a one in a thousand-million possibility.

Even if he would never be able to get the true answer, it’s all right.

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[1] As in, a stamp. I’m not sure if China still has this, but in Taiwan, it’s still super common to use personalized name stamps in place of signatures to sign off on documents and the like.

[2] Like a traditional Chinese jacket from back in the Qing dynasty. Wikipedia has a page on it.

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That random biking robotics research alumni is the true MVP of this novel.

Unfortunately, both Duan Yi’s and my suffering isn’t over yet, since there’s still two chapters left lmao. Honestly, I remember at this point in my original reading of this, I was like, “What else would be left to write about? Why are there two more chapters instead of one?” And tbh I don’t think the next chapter fully justifies its own existence, but eh. The last chapter is actually pretty good, so hopefully knowledge of that will carry me through LOL.